Thursday, January 28, 2010

The "Peace" Lily....

Have you noticed that the shopping experience perhaps isn't as fun as it used to be? I suppose I shouldn't airbrush all stores because art stores are always fun to shop but when it comes to Home Depot, I can honestly say today's experience is certainly not one I wish to repeat.

I was visiting simply because I wanted to purchase some mdf/hardboard and then have it cut, to use for a painting surface. I waited ten minutes for four men scrounge for a lumber person to make eight cuts into the board. I wandered the store afterward, which is no small feat and is the equivalent of a five mile walk! I found a beautiful flowering "Peace" lily, which I don't need but was drawn to.

I needed a buggy to carry the plant and the boards, but the buggies are kept outside in the raw cold temperature....I guess customers are supposed to plan ahead and not change their mind by loading up with stuff once inside the store.  So I had to request a buggie at the customer service desk.  Thirty minutes into this so called shopping experience, I've picked up a plant, two pieces of hardboard and a buggie....but had to ask six salespeople to serve me!  Note the key word...ask.

Next I stroll over to the garbage area or whatever they call that department where they are selling the paper bags needed to insert into the new $60 compost bins the city dictated I need to use. It will probably take me a few years at least, to fill a gigantic bin with potato peels and a few egg shells!! I quickly read that the paper bags on the market don't fill the compost bins properly! Great bureaucratic city thinking with that concept and  oh're also to wrap your compost in newspapers.  Have you read a newspaper recently? I know I haven't...I read online.  Am I supposed to buy a newspaper now so that I can bring it home and throw it in the garbage or in this case the bin? As I continue pushing the cold-handled buggie I decide I won't be composting peels, shells and all things wet! A wasted $60.

(sign discovered while on a country drive)
It takes another two mile walk to get back to the cashier...but wait....a screen door! Since I had a new front door replaced I knew I'd be needing a screen door, so what the heck I'll price them while I'm here.  Ummmm....will it fit into the car? No problem the clerk says....go to the cashier and they'll "order up" a chap to measure your car. I'm now up to seven people serving me.  I have to pay for the plant and wood first though if I want to have the car measured. Oh crikey, there aren't any plastic bags to protect my "Peace" lily from the cold weather. Oh hum!!

The cashier tells me to leave the lily in the buggie and pull your car up to the door.  Now I have to wait for them to find someone to measure the car.  I've now spent fifty-five minutes in the store.  Yes the screen door will fit into my five door hatchback says the seventh clerk. I have to walk all the way back to the screen door department...but wait, we'll have to wait another fifteen minutes for the one solitary clerk to serve me. buggy remember? It's at the front of the store holding my "Peace" lily.  By this time I'm so doggone frustrated I need a martini and I don't even drink the hard stuff!!!

I've had about all of the ten mile sprint I can do for this month.  I refuse to return to the outside front of the store to retrieve a buggy.  Clerk #8 can figure out how to get the screen door to the front of the store. I just wanna go home.  But wait.......laying the door across a buggie won't fit through the aisles!!! Great...just great....can this shopping experience get any worse?  Oh yes it can, it certainly can.

So finally clerk #9 has accepted payment for the door, the lily is in the car and clerk #10 is trying to stuff a metal door into a car....oh oh!!! The door doesn't how can that be when the other goofy chap # 7 measured? Stuff, pull, hank, shove, shake the human head, scratch the human head,  lop off the the frigid way lady....the door doesn't fit.  I thought perhaps some rope would hold the door secure with it hanging a tad out the back.  Nope....the so called service guys at HD don't do string.  Can you believe that? They won't tie down the door for me.

Now,  how exactly is a single woman supposed to buy a door by herself and get it home? Oh you can rent a van but you need a special license for it.  I've had all I can possibly take for one day.  I'm sooooo in desperate need of a tea and a smoke!!!! Desperately.  That's it... I've soooo had enough.  Give me a refund and take your door to wherever you want.  Oh by the way ma' have to walk another two miles to get a refund...and yes there's a line-up of 9 people in front of you.  Arrrrggggh.

I'm home two hours later with a severe bout of frustration, no paper bags, no screen door.....some wood and a "Peace" Lily.

Back home where there is peace and tranquility.  Do you think that's why I bought a "Peace" lily I didn't think I needed???


  1. Oh, my! You do need some tea and a smoke (maybe of something more interesting than tobacco).

    What a dreadful expereience! Good for you for having enough of a sense of humor to share it.

    If you lived closer I'd accompany you to the dratted store and help you get a screened door.


  2. Oh noooo - how awful. I HATE shopping - HATE it - and customer service, the LACK of it is the number one reason. I'd rather shop online - and yep, I'd buy a door online too. And stores wonder why their sales are down!

    I'd have done exactly what you did - and ask for a refund. No way should you pay for incompetence.

    I love your Peace Lily though ... its my favorite plant.

  3. So, beautiful!!
    Happy Valentine's Day.
    Hugs, Gayle.